In response to my last post, I wrote a response that addressed the unfortunate phenomenon of black women desperately struggling to hold on to their “black cards.” This struggle is typified by black women who deep inside recognize that, on a practical level, they must explore their options romantically, professionally, educationally, and in every other manner; but who emotionally , cannot let go of their attachment to the “community.” As I noted in my post, too often I encounter BW who date/mate IR on the "downlow," but who are still desperately trying to hold onto their "black cards.” Despite the fact that they sometimes form romantic attachments to non-black men because they must, since these are the only viable mates available, they go out of their way to emphasize their love and preference for "the black man." They idealize "black love," and even though they often seek the highest quality non-black mates for THEMSELVES, they encourage other black women to "hold out" for their black knights in shining armor, reassuring these dupes that their black princes will come if only they lose weight, stop talking so loud, stop being so aggressive, stop pursuing higher education and threatening professional accomplishments, stop having babies out of wedlock, etc. They are militantly "pro-black," except when it comes to advancing the interests of black women and children being victimized and exploited at the hands of DBRBM. Then, all of a sudden, they are full of excuses, and want to return the conversation back to the big, bad White Man. They are consistent suckers for the bad poetry of DBRBM hypocrites who rhapsodize about "Nubian Princesses" they wouldn't touch with a ten-foot pole, and are adept at looking the other way when these warriors for the community parade their white-skinned women through police brutality protest organizing committees or Juneteenth picnics.
These women are deceptively distinguishable from the obvious mules who promote the explicit “nothing but a black man” agenda. They will reasonably note the numbers of black men who are unemployed and unemployable, in prison, in interracial relationships, and who simply refuse to marry black women and father black children; they express empathy for the multitudes of black women who, as a result, cannot find worthy mates and form healthy families as a result. Unlike the conspicuous mammies, they will often pursue professional success, healthy families, viable communities, and worthy mates for themselves, even while continuing to espouse the “black power” party line for other black women. Much of their venom is reserved for black women who are insufficiently supportive of black men, since it is of utmost importance to them that the “community” recognize that, regardless of their personal choices, they are super duper black, and they know that “blackness”=endorsing any and all black male behavior, no matter how evil or destructive. The last thing they want is to be labeled as “bougie,” “acting white,” or a “sell out.”
The conflicted nature of these “sisters” makes them incredibly dangerous to black women who are in the process of escaping the pathology of the “community.” Since they don’t look or act like the typical mule, they can initially seem like worthy allies in the effort to build new and improved lives. Unfortunately, their seductive facades will encourage many proud black women to welcome them into their lives, where their poison will undermine your positive efforts to move forward with self respect. Always remember: you were born black, you live black, and nothing can undermine your blackness. You don’t have to prove your authenticity to anyone. And anyone who demands that you do so is not your friend.