tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281981687901780653.post7530538755440979661..comments2023-06-24T11:38:47.717-04:00Comments on Black Girls Rule!: The Big SortAimeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05618974302577733245noreply@blogger.comBlogger77125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281981687901780653.post-4973325755222774652009-05-09T23:33:00.000-04:002009-05-09T23:33:00.000-04:00miss your posts! hope you're just taking a break a...miss your posts! hope you're just taking a break and will come back!DanaDane/DanaBashhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13206738821585288647noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281981687901780653.post-23605802346425421932008-11-30T19:27:00.000-05:002008-11-30T19:27:00.000-05:00Aimee get in touch please!Aimee get in touch please!Halimahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13400009793511308799noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281981687901780653.post-59567751796469187372008-11-25T23:39:00.000-05:002008-11-25T23:39:00.000-05:00Goodbye, Mr. Anonymous. Noone cares what you think...Goodbye, Mr. Anonymous. Noone cares what you think. Your day has come and gone. You're not fooling anybody anymore. You seem to think that if you're going to invade this website and set all these "straying" and "wrong-thinking" black women straight. You're wasting your time. But then it's yours to waste (as long as the blogowner lets you). We're free to do as we please now, and so are you. We don't care what you do (but staying out of our way would be helpful, and I can tell that you like to be of use to black women).Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281981687901780653.post-60463523265380279522008-11-17T19:11:00.000-05:002008-11-17T19:11:00.000-05:00Mr. Anonymous seems to think anyone here cares abo...Mr. Anonymous seems to think anyone here cares about his opinions. He makes an assertion, can't back it up, then tries to dance around the fact that he can't back it up. Anonymous, you don't seem to realize that the women on this site don't care what black men think re black women, and that more and more black women are coming to the same conclusion. He can't stand that thought, so he comes back obsessively to this site to leave his nasty little messages. Knock yourself out, Anonymous. No-one is this site is going to be influenced by your negativity and your desire to keep black women in a cage. We belong to ourselves now, and you and your opinions are no longer of any significance or relevance.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281981687901780653.post-64707512637460121212008-11-12T16:38:00.000-05:002008-11-12T16:38:00.000-05:00Anonymous, bring proof of your point of view befor...Anonymous, bring proof of your point of view before you start asking others for proof of theirs. Otherwise, they have every right to hold and express an opinion on the matter, including one that is contrary to yours. And what's more, they belong on this website. I doubt that you do. And since you want to challenge another poster's opinions, why should we believe anything you say?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281981687901780653.post-11713690194587980412008-11-02T10:55:00.000-05:002008-11-02T10:55:00.000-05:00i'm so late to this discussion. but let me say i d...i'm so late to this discussion. but let me say i don't believe mr. anonymous has ever been out of the country or knows any english people to speak of. much less english riders. in my ten years living in various countries in europe, spain is my 5th, black women are by far more numerous, more easily accepted, and assimilate more quickly than black american men. i've met three black american men in 10 months in bcn. black women, we have a group of 50 that gets together every month to cook and talk and stuff. outside of that, we have very separate, integrated lives. note to black american women: europe loves you. don't let anybody tell you different.ieishahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13351048799735156173noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281981687901780653.post-426681232970292792008-10-03T07:46:00.000-04:002008-10-03T07:46:00.000-04:00New post,please, amy!New post,please, amy!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281981687901780653.post-36632636648646886222008-09-22T12:18:00.000-04:002008-09-22T12:18:00.000-04:00WM english style horseback riders are more likely ...WM english style horseback riders are more likely to be "master of the universe" types. Accordingly, they will "take" what they want. The same cannot be said for their WF counterparts - their actions will be more limited in order to keep their "place" in their social order.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281981687901780653.post-5639415663464746172008-09-20T19:58:00.000-04:002008-09-20T19:58:00.000-04:00Wow I like this but could the owner up date it ple...Wow I like this but could the owner up date it please?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281981687901780653.post-68913683584877029432008-09-19T13:04:00.000-04:002008-09-19T13:04:00.000-04:00I have a feeling that among the population of WM e...I have a feeling that among the population of WM english-style horseback riders, there might not be that many of them looking to date non-WM. And the non-WM had better be very financially sound!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281981687901780653.post-54974660429265662232008-09-16T02:19:00.000-04:002008-09-16T02:19:00.000-04:00Let me throw in another "Black people don't do" ac...Let me throw in another "Black people don't do" activity.<BR/><BR/>Horseback riding and then swimming.<BR/>Now for me personally, I Loooooove to ride and I don't do cowboy(western riding) either, I do English(more refined and polished)...who are most english riders? White men!<BR/><BR/><BR/>This is one reason why I date out...I have more in common with WM than BM.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281981687901780653.post-85562734034602411192008-09-09T17:02:00.000-04:002008-09-09T17:02:00.000-04:00It's great that more woman are opening up. We coul...It's great that more woman are opening up. We could all open our minds up a little more. In fact a lot more. Racism is ofcourse out there but we practice a lot reverse racism on our selves as black people, put ourself in little boxes and don't come out and are very quick to say racism is the reason why something didn't work out, why we didn't get the job, why we got pulled over. It happens ofcourse but we need to rise above all that and stampede all over it. http://www.cafepress.com/galsruleAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281981687901780653.post-78844376629000128692008-08-28T09:30:00.000-04:002008-08-28T09:30:00.000-04:00Your last paragraph is so dead-on in describing th...Your last paragraph is so dead-on in describing the transition I've made in my thinking over the last two years. Thank you for sharing your eloquent and persuasive writing!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281981687901780653.post-36856971529849962912008-08-27T19:06:00.000-04:002008-08-27T19:06:00.000-04:00Hi Everyone, I havent been around in awhile but I ...Hi Everyone, <BR/><BR/>I havent been around in awhile but I wanted to stop past and say hello, I had a bday and am working on my Match.com profile so I will be sure to keep you updated Knockoutchick and anyone else who cares to know :).<BR/><BR/>Oh yeah and agreed on the Tequila in the East Village statement.<BR/><BR/>SpaHaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281981687901780653.post-26849036670375559302008-08-08T00:14:00.000-04:002008-08-08T00:14:00.000-04:00Hey SpaHa and PVW!Well Lord! The beer issue! WP su...Hey SpaHa and PVW!<BR/><BR/>Well Lord! The beer issue! WP sure love their beers. Europeans and Latin Americans all have their local beers.<BR/><BR/>I know that many African countries have their own local beers but recent African immigrants generally come here to work like all recent immigrants they are not spending the bulk of their time in bars whooping it up and drinking beer.....in a time of war.<BR/><BR/>Here is an article about the closing of many local restaurants in Harlem that catered to blacks.<BR/><BR/>http://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/06/nyregion/06soulfood.html<BR/><BR/>I think all ideas about how younger blacks are and will socialize is open for discussion.<BR/><BR/>I think we have to admit one of the reasons older Soul food restaurants have died in NY is that they have not evolved and younger educated blacks with the $$$$ to sustain these restaurants do not want to eat there. Why??? Because our diet is killing us.<BR/><BR/>In newly formed black middle class enclaves will there be no "soul food" restaurants?<BR/><BR/>In Brooklyn one AA woman with a keen eye for marketing is doing a booming business selling deep fried Turkeys at "Jive Turkey". A choice you would think most younger blacks educated about health issues would run from.<BR/><BR/>I don't know what new ways of socializing for middle class blacks will be.<BR/><BR/>We are eating different foods that our parents.<BR/><BR/>Behaving in different ways and interacting with a larger group of varied people.<BR/><BR/>And yes SpaHa Chica you are right....young BM do not go out and socialize in the way young BW do. <BR/><BR/>Again it is finance..over 50% of BM are unemployed in this town. I am sure you see them on the corner when you leave and return from work.<BR/><BR/>Which brings up the question...how can you form a community to live, to grow or to socialize without men?<BR/><BR/>Which leads me to......:-) I am glad you are at Sin Sin...the LES and downtown is where it is happening for young folks to meet. The drinks are flowing, chatter is happening and dark skin is welcome ......if you feel me :-)<BR/><BR/>Well PVW, as for kids spending their parents $$$$$ maybe 10-20 years from now you will be so lucky as to have your kid out spending your hard earned dollars on Tequila in the East Village :-) You can only hope !!!knockoutchickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13284098074465065206noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281981687901780653.post-74801449058308059762008-08-06T18:40:00.000-04:002008-08-06T18:40:00.000-04:00Hi ladies,I totally agree with whomever said that ...Hi ladies,<BR/><BR/>I totally agree with whomever said that blacks socilaize differently than whites, at least at first. When I first when to college I was like beer? Ew...my Dad drinks beer. Slowly but surely though, you begin to go out and drink, go to dinners, Spring Break etc. Most blacks I came across in college either didn't have the finances for that or spend their money in different ways.<BR/><BR/>In terms of amassing large amounts of CC debt or having parents bankroll your lifestyle I def. think that happens. Most of my (female)friends here make decent money for our age, which is mid twenties. The guys on the other hand make pretty good money and are able to do the drinks, dinner, vacations or staycations type of socializing. My black male friends for the most part whether they are actuaries or work at PathMark don't socialize that way. They are not goiNG to take dIfferent women out for drinks, cofee and esp. not dinner on a regular basis.<BR/><BR/>On a sidenote I met this guy the other day that CONSTANLY asks me to come to his home and hang out.I really don't think it's a shady type of thing, just what he is used to. He would say things like maybe I'll take you to this restaurant or that venue etc. He's very nice but our ideas of how relationships start and play out I think are quite different. I'm certainly not going to a strange dudes house, I'm very sorry lol.<BR/><BR/>In terms of where young blacks socialize in this town, it isn't like D.C. here; where I could rattle off a ton of places. I don't see the sense of self and community that I do at home. I usually see interacial groups of people but not groups of blacks at any particular spot.A friend that I met in the neighborhood suggested Harlem Lanes and Moca (sp).I would also suggest Sin Sin Leopard Lounge where you can usually find me :).<BR/><BR/>Most of my close frineds ( across all racial groups live in Harlem) but alot also went in on large 1 bedrooms and built walls in Tribeca, Chelsea and the UES. Before I came hear I didn't even know people did that lol, anything to be in a certain neighborhood though.<BR/><BR/>Finally for better or worse I think that black middle class is too integrated to chronicle our story( at least in NY).<BR/><BR/>Hope my jumbled thoughts weren't too difficult to follow.<BR/><BR/>Best<BR/><BR/>SpaHa :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281981687901780653.post-34183343871021692812008-08-04T06:11:00.000-04:002008-08-04T06:11:00.000-04:00KOC:Don't forget, though, that some of the young w...KOC:<BR/><BR/>Don't forget, though, that some of the young whites who are socializing like crazy are doing it on a house of cards: amassing large amounts of credit card debt, or, alluding to an earlier point, they are living of the "Bank of Mom and Dad."<BR/><BR/>So it is about finding a middle ground, and a point you made makes sense--the venues which are not as expensive, but which attract a younger crowd.<BR/><BR/>Some ideas: the Nuyorican Poets cafe. Although the venues in Brooklyn might have shut down, Nuyorican has been around forever. How about the Joseph Papp theater? They offer memberships and have members-only events. The NYT had an article, Museums After Dark--the museums create a social space with music, etc.PVWhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12410310404539584350noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281981687901780653.post-77019951986218786602008-08-03T11:35:00.000-04:002008-08-03T11:35:00.000-04:00Hey SpaHa Chica and PVW!I think as Ms. SpaHa allud...Hey SpaHa Chica and PVW!<BR/><BR/>I think as Ms. SpaHa alluded...a lot has to do with disposable income.<BR/><BR/>The restaurants she mentioned....Mobay, Melbas, etc tend to have an older AA clientele. As many of the better known restaurants and clubs that may cater to blacks. By older I mean 30-40s, possibly because they then have the income to afford the prices.<BR/><BR/>Whereas in terms of younger spots specifically catering to blacks...they do not exist. Or if anyone knows of a place owned by and operated with a mainly 20's AA crowd...please let me know.<BR/><BR/>So the question of how young blacks are socializing in this town is very interesting.<BR/><BR/>For instance since there are so many more young white college kids or young whites new to the job market.<BR/><BR/>You will find say ...in Williamsburg a bar, cafe and club that relates specifically to them. Meaning a cafe or bar that has $2 drinks, cheap food, less formal or elegant, more hip. But that can happen in Willieburg because there seems to be about 3 or 4 bars on every block! They can make up the cost difference in volume.<BR/><BR/>But could a black cafe or bar ever make that much $$$, because black kids just don't seem to drink beer in those quantities. Or even large amounts of coffee.<BR/><BR/>Do WP really drink that much alcohol? Apparently so.<BR/><BR/>So now if young urban professional blacks are in a different and un-familiar social environment...how do they meet???? Difficult.<BR/><BR/>I know a young well brought up AA guy who has a moderate salary but of course in New York he is struggling. He says often he will stay home and not go out to socialize simply because the cost is so high. Also the women so far outnumber the men in black environments he feels the need to be a gentleman and offer a drink to the young woman's friend if he seeks to chat with a girl in a group. Then he feels it is his place to get the chairs, hold the coats, or assist as a gentleman...which becomes rough in an environment of 3 to 1. It's not as sexy as many men might think. If you are an honest guy it actually becomes rough.<BR/><BR/>I am not crying tears for him ;-) I am just saying he says often times he and his friends just hang out at each others apartments...but they are too small or uninviting in his opinion to have a group of women visit for dinner or chat.<BR/><BR/>So for black guys in a place that drinks are $8-15 dollars a pop and they are surrounded by women who often make more $$$ than they do buying drinks becomes difficult.<BR/><BR/>Which brings up that joke that BW chat about...that you would have to be on fire for a BM to offer you anything liquid. :-)<BR/><BR/>So again we have disposable income issue. Yet you see throngs of young whites downtown roaming around having a ball. They are supporting an enormous amount of small businesses.<BR/><BR/>I think young black people are defining different ways to socialize. But the economics of it are hard.<BR/><BR/>For instance there were a few cafes that survived on Poetry slams about 7 or 8 years ago on Brooklyn. You could have a coffee for $2, hang out listen to poetry, have a glass of wine if you liked. These places seemed more suited to AA culture. Generally though they can't keep up with the rent.<BR/><BR/>But to tie this up on the BGR tip. Now more and more you see young BW venturing into mainly white bars and cafes or social environments. Used to be rare to see 2 or 3 black girls at the 'metal" bar...but no more. Hallelujah!knockoutchickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13284098074465065206noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281981687901780653.post-6402385828608695562008-08-03T08:06:00.000-04:002008-08-03T08:06:00.000-04:00Spanish Harlem???Greetings!I have been thinking of...Spanish Harlem???<BR/><BR/>Greetings!<BR/><BR/>I have been thinking of this in other ways too, that one transition which seems to occur is that once a neighborhood changes to become a "family" type, middle class neighborhood, the kinds of places that might have attracted singles seem to disappear???<BR/><BR/>For example, are bars and such more common in neighborhoods where there are more singles or working class people (ie., working class white neighborhoods where there might be one or two bars)?<BR/><BR/>I have noticed in different communities where I've lived, with increasing numbers of families, comes increasing numbers of different types of establishments: crafts stores, family-friendly restaurants and coffee shops. Less bars, but a liquor store, carefully regulated so that people can buy their alcohol and socialize at home? <BR/><BR/>This is especially the case in the suburbs--very rare to find bars. Instead, family friendly restaurants might have a section in the middle where the bar is.PVWhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12410310404539584350noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281981687901780653.post-47603517975294295252008-08-02T19:43:00.000-04:002008-08-02T19:43:00.000-04:00Great discussion ladies.I am def. living this disc...Great discussion ladies.<BR/><BR/>I am def. living this discussion as are my group of friends. We all live in NYC ,E.Harlem, W.Harlem and the Upper East and West Sides and none of us are orignally from here. We are all in our mid twenties and consider ourselves over-educated and underpaid :).I am from PG County and proud of it lol.A couple of the other women are also and there are a couple of folks from the South. <BR/><BR/>I live where I live because I got a deal on an amazing house, but don't have much in common with alot of people that live here. There are hardly any retaurants/bars cafes etc. The few of those establishments in my area are all super pricey i.e. Melbas,Mobays, Sylvia's and Creole. Or the cater to the large Hispanic population and aren't where my group would go to socialize.<BR/><BR/>In terms of dating I am the last of the group that has not gone the way of match.com but am SERIOUSLY thinking about it. My closet friends here with the exception of Native New Yorkers found their significant others on match; which has resulted in two engagments.<BR/><BR/>In terms of how Caribbeans/AA socilaize, it is VERY different than whites. I guess you could say that my friends and I have assimilated in terms of social drinking,brunch, dinners out a couple nights a week etc. Unfortunately, there is not alot of that where we live, which means we don't socilaize where we live and do treat our places as a "base".<BR/><BR/>I could go on forever, but suffice to say that I agree with most of what is posted and truly believe that everyone should keep their options open.<BR/><BR/>Best,<BR/><BR/>SpaHa ( Native New Yorkers know what I mean lol)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281981687901780653.post-71618793176654396952008-08-02T15:40:00.000-04:002008-08-02T15:40:00.000-04:00Ciao a tutti da scorzè, un paese visino a Venezia ...Ciao a tutti da scorzè, un paese visino a Venezia <BR/><BR/>freedom and peacearachesostufohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04317123440001061204noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281981687901780653.post-52525005510017303772008-07-31T19:35:00.000-04:002008-07-31T19:35:00.000-04:00Greetings, KOC!I would probably pass for the Middl...Greetings, KOC!<BR/><BR/>I would probably pass for the Middle Eastern woman at the gym! I wear a head scarf and loose clothes. <BR/><BR/>The headscarf, to protect my hair when I'm lying on the exercise mats, and loose clothes to feel comfortable. There is a dose of modesty there too.<BR/><BR/>I once saw a woman at the gym who might have been ME; she made eye contact and smiled. This fits in with what you said about perceptions of cultural norms...They are more universal than many people seem to want to admit.<BR/><BR/>Interesting about men socializing on street corners v. in their local places. So true, even in the Caribbean. Everyone knows where the "rum shop" is. It's a place for men to go and hang out. They take the rowdiness indoors and away from the public spaces. Women and children don't go there.<BR/><BR/>Yet, when men choose the street corners as their socializing venue, they claim these public spaces with their rowdiness and make them inhospitable for women and children. Public spaces become male spaces that women and children must negotiate. It is from those places that women are targeted when the men start to act out of line....<BR/><BR/>Again, this is a phenomenon of urban life in many communities of color...All the more reason to think about neighborhood and community.PVWhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12410310404539584350noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281981687901780653.post-38945478273437024392008-07-31T13:45:00.000-04:002008-07-31T13:45:00.000-04:00Hey PVW!"but there behavior and preference is alwa...Hey PVW!<BR/><BR/>"but there behavior and preference is always just seen as “acting white”, or as PVW pointed out, called “Buppies”, or BAPs. They are not allowed to even be the stereotypical individual."<BR/><BR/>It is interesting that some social activities that are seen as "acting white" are common through out the black and brown diaspora, yet in America they are defined by class.<BR/><BR/>For instance, drinking tea or visiting coffee shops. Tea salons or shops are plentiful throughout N. Africa and lounging with friends and sharing tea is common. Yet here it is labeled a "white" activity. Maybe it should be actually be "acting black" :-)<BR/><BR/>I think the challenge for educated people of color is taking activities common amongst all peoples with a greater degree of education and fitting them within our cultural traditions.<BR/><BR/>Just last week at the gym I saw a young middle eastern muslim women taking an advanced cardio class in her head scarf and coverings. So would some say physical fitness is a "white thing"? Or Muslim women don't go the gym?<BR/><BR/>No..of course young educated ME women understand the value of being fit, they just have to find a way to blend their cultural norms with Western American norms. So this women got a light weight fabric head cover and some long wide leg pants and kept it moving :-) The extra sweating was probably good for her.<BR/><BR/>Also I wonder why in socializing working class or unemployed BM congregate on local corners instead of a local bar or gathering place?<BR/><BR/>For instance, even the poorest Central American immigrant here has the local bar he hangs out at...beers might be $2 and coffee .75 cents but they will all sit there on days they have off drinking playing cards, yelling and whatever men do :-) You can hear the drunk babbling in the summer when you walk by.<BR/><BR/>In West Africa, I saw the same local places for men to socialize. <BR/><BR/>Yet here I see BM who do hang around the corner to meet and socialize.knockoutchickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13284098074465065206noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281981687901780653.post-5098001467613959972008-07-31T12:42:00.000-04:002008-07-31T12:42:00.000-04:00Hey EP!"I think increasing amounts of disposa...Hey EP!<BR/><BR/>"I think increasing amounts of disposable income has already created groups of middle class blacks everywhere, who fit into one or another of the character types, but there behavior and preference is always just seen as “acting white”, or as PVW pointed out, called “Buppies”, or BAPs. They are not allowed to even be the stereotypical individual."<BR/><BR/>I agree with you that in the BC there is a very NARROW set of beliefs and behaviors that are acceptable.<BR/><BR/>Those who fall outside of christian, heterosexual democrats who love R&B have a difficult time.<BR/><BR/>So of course I know that the BC is varied but maybe peer pressure might stop certain groups from bonding and growing. For instance if you are a black businessman or woman you might NOT want to join the local Republican meet up knowing that the vast majority of your client base is likely democratic.<BR/><BR/>I am sure at this moment there are black Republicans who despite the racial connection w/ Obama still hold staunchly conservative views which will lead them to vote for McCain or Independent, yet they suuure would be afraid to speak up and say so in the BC.<BR/><BR/>We give independent thinkers a rough road :-)knockoutchickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13284098074465065206noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281981687901780653.post-74188222932603737962008-07-29T18:32:00.000-04:002008-07-29T18:32:00.000-04:00Mekare, type into google, a singles map of the uni...Mekare, type into google, a singles map of the united states of america. You will see exactly what the map suggests...women on the East coast, outnumbering men. Men on the West coast, outnumbering women.PVWhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12410310404539584350noreply@blogger.com