Black males typically feel angry when they see a white man with a black woman because to them, she is “Sleeping with the enemy.”
Quote from "Black Women Who Like a Little Cream in Their Coffee," by Matthew Lynch, Bahiyah Woman Magazine, bwmmag.com
Just got some real interesting info from a source regarding the most vocal opponent of the Hot Ghetto Mess Show and website. Like my mama told me, "aint nobody right". Watch whose lead you're following people. If anyone has more info to add or confirmation, let me know...Excerpt from the Myspace page of Jam Donaldson, the creator of the "Hot Ghetto Mess" website.
Word on the street is . . . she is part of a coterie of women who have organized themselves around Evia. As part of that coterie she blogs as Synamon. They began a few months ago under the guise of an interracial dating site. The site ain't about interracial dating at all. It is about spreading white supremacist ideas among black women.
Halima, at the Black Women's IR Circle, recently blogged on the issue of "What is an Ally"? This is a crucial issue for BW to undestand, because if we cannot distinguish our own best interests, than we cannot distinguish who has our best interests at heart.
However, it is equally important that we understand "Who is an Enemy"? BW in interracial relationships with WM, probably more than any other group, must contend with the "sleeping with the enemy" charge hurled at them by members of their own community. Even BM involved with WW do not face this invective to nearly the same extent, since WW have generally been held less responsible for white supremacy and the sins of institutionalized racism than WM. Both WW and many BM have cheerfully promoted the concept that WW are "victims" too, and thus, no "betrayal" is involved in a BM becoming intimate with them.
The history of colonialism, the black holocaust, slavery, Jim Crow, and the continuation of institutionalized racism inevitably effects even individual relationships between black people and white people. Of course, it also effects individual relationships between black people and other black people as well. Black people are prefer biracial children for adoption over black children just as whites do. BM prefer lighter skinned, straighter haired women over darker skinned, kinkier haired women. As the existence of websites and television programs like "Hot Ghetto Mess" make glaringly obvious, black people today are some of the most brutally
exploitative traffickers in dehumanizing, stereotypical imagery of other black people. And just as there are whites who benefit from "white skin privilege" that provides them advantages in employment, housing, educational opportunities and the criminal justice system, there are blacks like Jam Donaldson and Reginald Hudlin (President of BET Entertainment) who also benefit from promoting white supremacy and black degredation.
The upshot of all of this should be clear: you can't determine whether you are "sleeping with the enemy" by the amount of melanin in his skin. When Jam Donaldson, who originally entitled her website "Nigga Mess," can claim that blogs devoted to supporting BW in having healthy, positive relationships with men regardless of race are actually "spreading white supremacy," it is clear that not only is her internal compass confused, but that she thinks that your's is as well. When DBRBM come to these blogs to slander and abuse BW, all in the name of "racial loyalty," they are not coming out of love for you. As you well know, these same men don't think any more highly of BW who are "loyal," and are no more loving or supportive of them. Their problem isn't that you have "betrayed" them, but that you will no longer make yourself available for them to betray you.
An enemy seeks to do you harm. A friend seeks to do you good. Friends and enemies do not come in specific phenotypical packages. No matter what happened yesterday or what may happen tomorrow, smart sisters never lose sight of these crucial insights, because we never forget what our own interests are. As the late Congressman Bill Clay like to point out "there are no permanent friends or permanent enemies: only permanent interests." Let your interests and your values be your guide, and your internal compass will always be resistant to these transparent manipulations.